5/21/2019; Week 5: Response post to Cultural Paradigms.
This week, our class focus is on various kinds of cultural differences, and the way those differences can be misinterpreted by others. In a lecture given by Professor Ivers at BYU-Idaho in 2013, it was explained to us that our interpretations of other cultures motivations and actions can be entirely erroneous if we do not understand the other cultures values and habits. Cultural differences on what might be embarrassing, funny, polite etc., can vary immensely from culture to culture. The caring instructor will make the effort to understand the new students' culture and help them assimilate and understand the local culture.
Cultures vary within nations as well as between them. As a child, it was not the custom in my area to say "Yes, Ma'm" or "No Ma'am" to adults. When we moved to Texas USA, I was inadvertently disrespectful to my School Teachers because I didn't know this. On one occasion, I was sent to a different grade level with a message. The Teacher was insulted that I did not say "Yes, Ma'am" after she spoke to me. She prodded me by saying "Yes, what ?" Not understanding, I merely repeated my message. I was then punished by having to stand in the corner for 5 minutes in a room full of older students. I didn't even know what I had done wrong. -And this was in the USA, and we were all native English speakers.
Armed with this memory, when we moved 14 years ago to Texas from Arizona USA, I was careful to practice "Yes, Ma'am", "Yes, Sir" with my own school aged children. I talked to them about the differences they would see - cowboy jeans and boots worn to school, "fixing to" used in place of the phrase "going to", American football on the playground instead of soccer, and other things.
For transition, I sent a handwritten card for each of my children to carry with them and show to their Teachers, explaining that they were unused to saying "Yes, Ma'am", did not mean to be rude and were working on the habit (along with my name and phone number). I spoke to each principle about the "Yes, Ma'am" thing as well. In one school, the entire front office staff was -shocked- that it was not the custom to say "Yes, Ma'am" everywhere in the USA!
As it happened, the card I sent with my very timid daughter was a life-saver: She was in PE with 70 other kids and almost had to run laps alone around the gym -while the others watched- because she had forgotten to say "Yes, Sir" to the coach. After reading the card, he told her not to forget again and let the matter go.
If I could give cultural advice to Teachers, I would suggest they make the effort to get to know and understand the cultures of their students, particularly if that student speaks another language. Among other things, the student may not have the ability to ask to use the bathroom - or even if it is acceptable to ask that question. In some cultures it is offensive for students to look a Teacher in the eye; in others it is offensive not to look the Teacher in the eye. Teachers, give your students the benefit of the doubt; if they make mistakes, correct them kindly - and if possible, privately.
(Sources: all ideas and experiences are gleaned from my life. A Korean child in my daughters class didn't know if she could ask to go to the bathroom in school; a book by a Vietnamese immigrant I read as a youth mentioned the 'looking in the eye' difference.)
Cultures vary within nations as well as between them. As a child, it was not the custom in my area to say "Yes, Ma'm" or "No Ma'am" to adults. When we moved to Texas USA, I was inadvertently disrespectful to my School Teachers because I didn't know this. On one occasion, I was sent to a different grade level with a message. The Teacher was insulted that I did not say "Yes, Ma'am" after she spoke to me. She prodded me by saying "Yes, what ?" Not understanding, I merely repeated my message. I was then punished by having to stand in the corner for 5 minutes in a room full of older students. I didn't even know what I had done wrong. -And this was in the USA, and we were all native English speakers.
Armed with this memory, when we moved 14 years ago to Texas from Arizona USA, I was careful to practice "Yes, Ma'am", "Yes, Sir" with my own school aged children. I talked to them about the differences they would see - cowboy jeans and boots worn to school, "fixing to" used in place of the phrase "going to", American football on the playground instead of soccer, and other things.
For transition, I sent a handwritten card for each of my children to carry with them and show to their Teachers, explaining that they were unused to saying "Yes, Ma'am", did not mean to be rude and were working on the habit (along with my name and phone number). I spoke to each principle about the "Yes, Ma'am" thing as well. In one school, the entire front office staff was -shocked- that it was not the custom to say "Yes, Ma'am" everywhere in the USA!
As it happened, the card I sent with my very timid daughter was a life-saver: She was in PE with 70 other kids and almost had to run laps alone around the gym -while the others watched- because she had forgotten to say "Yes, Sir" to the coach. After reading the card, he told her not to forget again and let the matter go.
If I could give cultural advice to Teachers, I would suggest they make the effort to get to know and understand the cultures of their students, particularly if that student speaks another language. Among other things, the student may not have the ability to ask to use the bathroom - or even if it is acceptable to ask that question. In some cultures it is offensive for students to look a Teacher in the eye; in others it is offensive not to look the Teacher in the eye. Teachers, give your students the benefit of the doubt; if they make mistakes, correct them kindly - and if possible, privately.
(Sources: all ideas and experiences are gleaned from my life. A Korean child in my daughters class didn't know if she could ask to go to the bathroom in school; a book by a Vietnamese immigrant I read as a youth mentioned the 'looking in the eye' difference.)
Great post and examples Lark. I have only ever lived in WA and UT states, and did not know that they still used Yes, Sir and Ma'am! I thought that was only used in the States back when my parents were young. In fact, if students said that to their teachers here now, it would come across disrespectful and sarcastic. I like your advice for teachers to correct kindly and privately.
ReplyDeleteHi Jeanine: When we lived in Arizona saying "Yes Ma'am" was, in fact considered sarcastic. I was glad I had not taught them the Southern habit. :)
DeleteI always taught my children to say, "Yes, please" and "No, thank you." However, when we lived in Louisiana, people were expecting my children to say, "Yes, Ma'am" and "No, Ma'am." It was a little awkward, but no one actually gave me any grief about it.
ReplyDeleteHi Charlotte: Most of the time, my children were given credit for their polite tone and facial expression even if they did not say "Yes Ma'am." I should mention that the school district is small and rural, which also makes it more likely for the adults to expect traditional respectful terms from the students. Glad your kids didn't have a bad experience !
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